Joey Dorsey of the Toronto Raptors has been suspended without pay for one game for swinging his arm at the head of the Chicago Bulls’ Brian Scalabrine, it was announced today by Stu Jackson, NBA Executive Vice President, Basketball Operations.
The incident occurred with 7.3 seconds remaining in the fourth quarter of the Bulls’ 109-90 victory over the Raptors at United Center on Tuesday, Oct. 12.
We’ve seen a lot of fights in NBA history — the Palace Brawl, Kermit Washington’s infamous punch of Rudy Tomjanovich, Doug Christie taking on Rick Fox, etc. — but I humbly submit that this is the most unfair fight in NBA history. Above, you can see what Joey Dorsey looks like: 6-8, 268 lbs, and about zero percent body fat. On top of that, he’s somewhat crazy and has a reputation for poor behavior.
For point of reference, this is what Brian Scalabrine looks like with his shirt off.
Well, he’s certainly in better shape than I am — shocking, I know — but it’s not as if Big Scal is at the height of fitness. Plus, even though a sizable chunk of Boston fans swear he was born in Southie, I’m not sure he has a much of a fighting spirit.
This matchup is so unfair, in fact, that you have to wonder if it will ever be topped. From my vantage, these are the only ones that could possibly compare:
- Ben Wallace vs. Travis Diener
- LeBron James vs. Water Bottle
- Craig Smith vs. Aaron Gray
- Carlos Boozer vs. A Really Long Power Outage
- Jack Nicholson and Lou Adler vs. Tobey Maguire and Leonardo DiCaprio
I’d pay to watch that last one. Something tells me that Jack and Lou take no prisoners.