The Heat Love Guns

The Miami Heat mean business this season, what with their three superstars and army of veteran role players who may or may not actually be able to help a playoff team. They’re in search of nothing less than a championship this season and will do whatever it takes to get there.

Pat Riley and Erik Spoelstra wanted to have the team start things out with the right tone, so they brought their team to Hurlburt Field and Eglin Air Force Base in the Florida Panhandle from September 28 to October 3 to show the Heat a thing or two about being tough. There’s no better place to do that than with the men and women of our nation’s armed forces.

Upon its announcement, Spoelstra said the team would be training at those locations to get away from the media circus and give back to those who serve our country. That’s well said, Spo, although Miami haters likely view it as the Heat wrapping themselves in the flag and deflecting all criticism. As one of our nation’s great leaders once said, you can’t please all the people all the time.

Of course, the biggest takeaway from the week for the Heat might have been something quite different than honor and togetherness and the joy of team-building. As seen in the video above, they got to watch people shoot guns at old cars and other random targets. From the looks of this clip, it was really awesome.

I’m not sure what the point of this demonstration was. Perhaps the Miami braintrust wanted to show their players the power of accurate shooting. Maybe Dwyane Wade and LeBron James are working on completing the Bad Boys trilogy and wanted to see quality marksmanship firsthand to better disappear into their roles. More likely, though, Riley and Spoelstra wanted to thank their players for taking a week away from the South Beach club scene. It’s a big sacrifice that deserves special commendation.

There are many great parts to this video. LeBron is clearly the biggest fan of guns, or at least the most vocal. For proof, witness his joking and indiscriminate whooping.

However, my favorite part is probably the last bit, when Wade signs a shot-up piece of glass. That is truly a keepsake that none of these servicemen will ever forget.

Delonte West Signs with Celtics to Win, Not to Scare LeBron James

The normally placid air of the early-September NBA blogoville was momentarily interrupted today with one piece of hot news. It brought us back to the seediest rumor of last year’s playoffs, a time my innocent mind would rather forget.

As reported by Gary Washburn, the Celtics have added Delonte West to shore up their backcourt off the bench. In case you forget, the Celtics are the defending East champs and one of Miami’s chief rivals. In case you double-forget, there was a strong rumor (based on little actual evidence) last spring that West slept with LeBron James’ mother, therefore affecting the former Cavs star’s play and rendering him ineffective for the pivotal Game 5 against Boston.

When the news of West’s deal with Boston broke, many mature thinkers — including noted sage Bill Simmons — took to Twitter to claim that this was Boston’s, or maybe West’s, direct response to LeBron. With the power of Delonte and his penchant for MILFs, the Celtics would get inside LeBron’s head and make him irrelevant in all head-to-head contests next season. Never mind that the West/James tryst has never been proven or that the entire episode is based on a series of assumptions about when and how LeBron found out. From many descriptions, you’d think the NBA were American Pie, with LeBron Stifler finding out about Delonte Finch sleeping with his mother and not being able to deal with the thought of it ever again.

The West MILF saga always struck me as stupid, and thankfully I never had to write about it since my bosses at SportingNews.com forbade me from mentioning it on the site. Then again, it was undoubtedly a big story on some of the goofier blogs around, so it’s not as if it should just be forgotten right now.

Of course, mentioning it is slightly different than using it as the primary basis for the Celtics’ signing. West played for the Celtics before being dealt to the Sonics in the 2007 Ray Allen trade, and he’s proven that he can be a useful player for a contender, even if his gun troubles from last summer make him slightly less dependable than previously thought.

The Celtics are trying to win championships, not engage in some form of half-baked psychological warfare. They already have Kevin Garnett’s angry faces for that.

LeBron Falls Short Again

Everyone knows that Michael Jordan’s jeans are much baggier.

(Picture via Trey)